Most people don't know this, but I am an accomplished tripper - no not day tripper - falling down, clumsy tripper.
My falls have diminished somewhat over the years, which is good, because it's much harder to get up at my age.
Years ago, the guy I dated at the time witnessed several falls which always included the side effect of my handbag flying off in the distance.
He crowned me the gold medalist of Olympic Purse Tossing - it's not officially recognized by the IOC, but if it were...wow, I'd be helped up to the pedestal, bite the gold medal (surely breaking a tooth), and then trip off in spectacular fashion! I'd be a You Tube sensation!!! After all, I was strongly influenced by the Ministry of Silly Walks. (Don't know your Python? Shame on you!)
The times I fell in front of him were so numerous that he scored them. I got several perfect 10s.
Even though I don't fall much these days, I fell the other day. My elderly father and I were entering a popular chain restaurant. I tripped coming in and went down in the entryway - yep, tossing my designer bag...However, the entryway was small, leading to an interior set of doors, so my purse toss wouldn't qualify.
My father stood there screaming, "Help! help! My daughter's down!" Actually I was on my side like the Andrea Doria, not down like the Titanic.
At any rate, two handsome young men employed by the establishment came and got me to my feet. They were very nice about it, I must say.
Alas, the after-effects of falling are much different at my age than they were in my youth. I was shaking so much I knew I needed sustenance right away. So I said to the waitress after she took our orders, "bring us some chips and salsa, please."
And, like any true Texan, naturalized or native, that did the trick. The shaking stopped with the advantageous application of carbs and the manna of the gods, salsa! Talk about a remedy!
I've spent the last few days with various aches and pains, and a bit of stiffness. But I am better each day. Nothing was broken or even bruised.
But I think I will make that my last hurrah...It's time I gave up the crown of Olympic Purse Tossing. I'll leave it to the younger ones, coming up behind me. My legacy will live on in the annals of tripping history, for being at times spectacular, but never seriously injurious.
Besides this last time was so unique, it's a good time to retire.
I mean, how many people do you know who fall INTO Chili's? Everybody else falls OUT of Chili's, especially after happy hour.
That being said, yes, I am still working on my project, but found time to write this today.
Take care and keep enjoying our wonderful pop culture.