It's been a hell of a few months, lots of emotional downturns and updrafts over which I have no control. It's like being in a super cell storm in Texas in April. You get slammed up and you get slammed down. And nobody gives you any ruby slippers...
Stress eats at your sleep, robs you of your appetite, makes you wish you could take a drink now and then. (And I don't mean chocolate milk.)
Is it any wonder I bury my head in movies at night? Or write fiction to escape into a different world? Listen to hard rock from an earlier age, singing along at times, as I beat my fists into the air to the throbbing drums?
I don't mean to ask for pity, don't want it. I came into this "job" with my eyes open, knowing full well what to expect. After all, the first half of my professional career prepared me for what I do now.
I have to tell you, some days, prepared or not, are absolute hell. You cry and fret, worry how you will deal with all the problems. And you have to face it, some problems you cannot solve. You can't bring your loved one back to the person he/she used to be. That person is gone with infrequent glimpses of the past self shown to you.
Bottom line? You wake up every morning wondering what new pain you will have today, what new problem will pop up which you know you won't be able to fix. You take a deep breath and do the routine things that make your world seem normal before the emotional hit comes. You hold on to the mundane like a lifeboat hastily leaving the sinking Lusitania...the only thing protecting you from the frigid water. (Sorry I'm currently reading a new book about that disaster.)
So what I would like to suggest to you out there who know folks who are caregivers - Make them laugh. Give them bits of normalcy, remind them they're decent people.
Believe me, they need it. Your small act of kindness will give them something to hold in their hand when the night is long, something to help them through the endless darkness in which there is little evidence of light.
You'd be surprised how little it takes some days to be the one light in the darkness which surrounds them.
I've taken a strong liking to the Marvel movies, personally...I watch Captain America and Thor, my favorite Marvel heroes, almost any time I can...beefcake does help a girl, even an old one like me...
Til next time.